Day 53 - A Full Moon and I go all Crazy!!

What happened yesterday?

The day passed as a blur

Stuck on the computer

Kids on holidays and beating each other up

Thinking it was Tuesday the whole day when it was actually Monday

Viewing a 1.30pm appointment on the calendar and

then COMPLETELY FORGETTING about it

Going to text and calling instead

Unable to focus to write

Can I blame it on the Full Moon?

When I woke today - with renewed clarity I'm pleased to add - I thought about our beautiful moon, our solar system and I let my mind wander back to a family outing about four months ago to the Brisbane Botanical Gardens. We visited the Planetarium and it was there that I had a life-changing experience.

Growing up I considered myself a scientist.

Evolution was king and if it could not be logically proven, then it did not exist.

But I had always struggled with the concept of time and space.

The notion of infinity just blew me away.

How could time be a

never-ending continuum,

stretching forever

into the past

and forever

into

the

future?

 

How could space be a

never-ending continuum,

stretching forever

in this direction

and forever

into

that 

direction?

Standing in awe in the Planetarium, before photographs of inconceivable numbers of constellations expanding into infinity, I was left to consider my minuscule existence.

All my life I had been searching for my purpose; my reason for living. I knew that there was something more but just did not know what it was. And it annoyed the crap out of me. It made me so dissatisfied with my life, and very unhappy. I was so envious of people who knew what they wanted to do in their life and they went out and did it. Yay for them! Why didn't I know what I was supposed to do? What was my purpose?

But right then, in the Planetarium, I realised that my simple human mind would never be able to conceptualise the vastness of this universe. That was when I became one with it. That was when I separated mind from inner being. When I "got it" - The difference between Mind, Body and Soul. That was when I began to discover my purpose. I finally realised that "I" was not my logical mind. "I" was not the roles that I performed in this human life. Thinking largely creates the emotions that you feel and "I" was not my thoughts or my emotions. "I" am the consciousness that is aware of all this and my purpose is to operate from this awareness and everything else will flow forward.

 

That crazy full moon effects our tides, it effects our planet, it effects me... because I am at one with it.

 

Crap Cleared: The belief that I "should" know my purpose.

Observations: When I accepted that I could not ever have all the answers, and  stopped trying to define myself with logical thought, I learnt to trust my heart and found my true self. It created an inner peace and clarity which is where my happiness comes from.

If you have had an "Ahh Haa" moment, like me, standing in the middle of the Universe in the Brisbane Planetarium, when you finally "Got it", I would love to hear about it. Please leave a comment. Writing about it sure brings back the power of the realisation.

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