"Aaaahh"... another moan as I attempt to move.
When you are feeling intense physical pain, nothing else matters but the attempt to find relief. I'm incapable of normal function, the ability to make decisions and consumed by fear - how can I meet the needs of my children when I cannot move!
I'm not feeling literally expressive today, I just wanted to record this moment of pain, to serve as a future reminder of what I have overcome, and where I don't want to return to.
I have been here many times and NOW is the time to change. I will not identify with this ailment. I am not my pain. I am not a person who has a weak back. I will be a person who has observed emotional issues and overcome physical weakness.
I will let go of any comparison, desire, expectation, jealousy and future dreams in order to feel relief in this moment. I release it all. I surrender to the NOW and find my peace without any striving for anything different.
"Back Pain Phoenix" by Jo Behlau 2011 29cm x 41xm pastel on card |
I close with a list of the messages that were presented to me this morning:
Love yourself with all your heart. Love everything about yourself. Love all those things about you that you wish were different. Love all those parts of you that you feel get in your way. Love the choices you've made which you now see would be different. Love your body and celebrate all it does well without any guidance from your conscious mind.
Love love love love love love love love YOU!!!
Thank you Expect WonderfulLove love love love love love love love YOU!!!
*hugs* Tomorrow is a NEW day <3 Lee-Anne
ReplyDeleteJo - thank you for your post today - it has brought me to tears. I myself needed to see and read your words and the words of your supporters today. xx
ReplyDeleteI wonder how much of that back pain is yours Jo? There is a lot of stuff moving around energetically - have you tried returning it to sender - i've been sending mine back times a Gadzillion all of today - sending all of my love to you to have a great nights sleep and painfree day tomorrow and thankyou for the mention xxx
ReplyDeleteAll hugs are so gratefully received, thank you Lee-Anne. I can never get enough hugs.
ReplyDeleteYou know Julia, It suprises me how frequently the right circumstance or information is presented to us, right when we need it. And in a healing situation, I often find that the issues a client raises are similar in some regard to the challenges that the healer is being faced with also, so it becomes a mutually beneficial session.
I'm pleased this resonated with you today and hope you received the comfort you needed.
Jina, the progress that I have made in the last six months (since I last threw my back out) is astounding, and I have been struggling to find the emotional cause of this current attack.
I really have been processing a lot of crap lately, so it could be a release of some sort, but I hadn't considered that the pain actually may not be mine.
There are huge father issues going on for me at the moment...
I'll meditate on this one tonight and attempt to return it to sender and see what happens.
Thank you for your support today.
I compeltely LOVE this - Go JO. I'm so going to share this on G+....What a leader. True leadership for me is when you lead from within. Thank you. I love knowing you and appreciate that you are making a difference in the world through leading out the way that you are. ♥♥♥
ReplyDeleteOh Karyn, you are such a Treasure.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your encouragement - it really means a lot to me. And to be making a difference just makes it all so worthwhile.
Big Hugs to YOU. xx