I have always been afraid of change. Anything that moves me out of the comfort zone of my day to day round causes me stress. I unconsciously delay the completion of many jobs because I am not sure of what life will be like once the the job is completed.
It is often easier to stay with the familiar, even if you are not 100% happy with it, than taking the risk of changing.
I wonder about why people who are "stuck in a rut" and unhappy with their current life circumstance, don't take the required action to change the situation. They may be afraid of the unknown - what is it like on the other side of the required action? But if they are unhappy now, surely what awaits can be no worse. Yet still, they hold back and put up with their current state.
We all have dreams of what we want in life and perhaps set ourselves some goals, but I think the majority of people just leave it as that - a dream; a fantasy; they mustn't truly believe that it can come true. Those that REALLY want the dream, CAN make it happen.
This realisation I had about CHANGE removed an energy block that had me feeling low for a couple of days. I committed to concluding some tasks that really needed my attention and to not worry about what lies on the other side. What ever it is, it can only be better than what I have now.
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" Addicted to seeking, afraid of arriving "
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These words from Scott Kalechstein Grace's incredible poem about the Ego describe my hesitation to conclude many tasks. I discovered Scott's work and "Oh, the Places your Ego will Go!" today and love it!
The union of two of my favourite authors.... Brilliant!
"Oh,The Places Your Ego Will Go!"
Your ego will travel with you on this Earth
And be your companion for worser or worse
It pretends it's your friend, your bestest amigo
And it pours on the guilt, that's the mark of the ego
It's there to protect you, to help you be strong
So it has to remind you, you've done it all wrong
You're weak and you're lazy, you don't have a clue
That's your drill sergeant ego, trying to motivate you
The ego wants you to be all you can be
So it gives you these pep talks all day and for free
Oh the places you'll go and the guilt trips you'll travel
As your ego plays judge and bangs down on its gavel
But you always can get some relief from your shame
By projecting it onto the others you'll blame
For that is the Ego at its beastiest best
It nurses its grievances close to its chest
Republicans, liberals, your parents, your ex
The world is just teaming with folks to correct
If only these fools would conform to your ways
You could get on with life, without further delays
The Ego's always finding new gripes to complain about
Turns molehills to mountains of yikes to feel pain about
Sometimes the Ego stuff gets you so stuffy
You come down with a cold or an ouchy, more roughy
But there's no time for rest, so get up out of bed
If you're just here and now, you won't get ahead
Your to do list must buzz like the bees when they're busying
Filling your days till they're endlessly dizzying
Oh the places you'll go and the people you'll see
All through the lenses of, "What's in it for me?"
Cos the Ego believes there is something it lacks
And until it is found, it wont let you relax
Perhaps you'll find it in the next one you date
True love at first sight, with a soul kind of mate
The romance is hot, 'til the climate turns cold
Cos when two halves collide, they do not make a whole
It's great 'til the love gets obscured by control
For when two halves collide, they cannot make a whole
So the Ego moves on, ever constantly striving
Addicted to seeking, afraid of arriving
You're travelling fast, at the speed of surviving
With fear in the drivers seat, doing the driving
Or maybe you're on the fast track of success
You're constantly driven to be great, better, best
You're a mover, a shaker, a real-time achiever
Umph, you're a real self-made man, or a dazzling diva
You're rich and you're famous, and you make quite a splash
You're on top of the world and you're rolling in cash
You drive the right car, you've married the right spouse
Today, lunch with Oprah, tomorrow, the White House
But at night, insecurity pays you a call
Cos you know any time, you could lose it all
Your shrink says to rest, your spouse sure agrees
Your doctor says, "Ulcers! Take 14 of these"
You know you should slow it down sooner or later
But your foot is just glued to that accelerator
Your Ego consoles, "Well at least you're successful
It's a sign of success to be constantly stressful"
You've made it to prime time and everyone loves you
But your self esteem is based on what others think of you
And opinions can change in the blink of an eye
Which is why you need meds just to sleep and get by
One day when you've failed and succeeded enough
You witness your ego exposed in the buff
And you realise behind all it's protective clothing
That the Ego is simply a state of self-loathing
And beyond that you realise the biggest of deals
You've dreamt up the Ego, it's not even real
So for richer, for poorer, in all kinds of health
You make a commitment to loving yourself
You release the projections you placed upon others
And find through forgiveness that peace is discovered
You realise the love that you searched for outside you
Is what you are made of and can't be denied you
So you let go your worries, your plans, your pills
Put some logs on the fire and learn how to chill
Your old superstitions have gone up in smoke
Like you can't rest in peace until after you croak!
You no longer fear death or for that matter life
Cos you know that all matters are safe and alright
While resting in peace you will soon be inspired
To go out in the world with some new-found desires
Desires that spring from your heart and your soul
And wherever they take you, you go in there whole
For the Ego is now in the passenger seat
Lets down the window and takes in the treats
There's no need to hurry, you're taking it slow
Cos the journey's as rich as the places you'll go
Where you are going, you don't need to know
For the journey's as rich as the places you'll go
The journey's as rich as the places you'll go
~ Scott Kalechstein Grace
And be your companion for worser or worse
It pretends it's your friend, your bestest amigo
And it pours on the guilt, that's the mark of the ego
It's there to protect you, to help you be strong
So it has to remind you, you've done it all wrong
You're weak and you're lazy, you don't have a clue
That's your drill sergeant ego, trying to motivate you
The ego wants you to be all you can be
So it gives you these pep talks all day and for free
Oh the places you'll go and the guilt trips you'll travel
As your ego plays judge and bangs down on its gavel
But you always can get some relief from your shame
By projecting it onto the others you'll blame
For that is the Ego at its beastiest best
It nurses its grievances close to its chest
Republicans, liberals, your parents, your ex
The world is just teaming with folks to correct
If only these fools would conform to your ways
You could get on with life, without further delays
The Ego's always finding new gripes to complain about
Turns molehills to mountains of yikes to feel pain about
Sometimes the Ego stuff gets you so stuffy
You come down with a cold or an ouchy, more roughy
But there's no time for rest, so get up out of bed
If you're just here and now, you won't get ahead
Your to do list must buzz like the bees when they're busying
Filling your days till they're endlessly dizzying
Oh the places you'll go and the people you'll see
All through the lenses of, "What's in it for me?"
Cos the Ego believes there is something it lacks
And until it is found, it wont let you relax
Perhaps you'll find it in the next one you date
True love at first sight, with a soul kind of mate
The romance is hot, 'til the climate turns cold
Cos when two halves collide, they do not make a whole
It's great 'til the love gets obscured by control
For when two halves collide, they cannot make a whole
So the Ego moves on, ever constantly striving
Addicted to seeking, afraid of arriving
You're travelling fast, at the speed of surviving
With fear in the drivers seat, doing the driving
Or maybe you're on the fast track of success
You're constantly driven to be great, better, best
You're a mover, a shaker, a real-time achiever
Umph, you're a real self-made man, or a dazzling diva
You're rich and you're famous, and you make quite a splash
You're on top of the world and you're rolling in cash
You drive the right car, you've married the right spouse
Today, lunch with Oprah, tomorrow, the White House
But at night, insecurity pays you a call
Cos you know any time, you could lose it all
Your shrink says to rest, your spouse sure agrees
Your doctor says, "Ulcers! Take 14 of these"
You know you should slow it down sooner or later
But your foot is just glued to that accelerator
Your Ego consoles, "Well at least you're successful
It's a sign of success to be constantly stressful"
You've made it to prime time and everyone loves you
But your self esteem is based on what others think of you
And opinions can change in the blink of an eye
Which is why you need meds just to sleep and get by
One day when you've failed and succeeded enough
You witness your ego exposed in the buff
And you realise behind all it's protective clothing
That the Ego is simply a state of self-loathing
And beyond that you realise the biggest of deals
You've dreamt up the Ego, it's not even real
So for richer, for poorer, in all kinds of health
You make a commitment to loving yourself
You release the projections you placed upon others
And find through forgiveness that peace is discovered
You realise the love that you searched for outside you
Is what you are made of and can't be denied you
So you let go your worries, your plans, your pills
Put some logs on the fire and learn how to chill
Your old superstitions have gone up in smoke
Like you can't rest in peace until after you croak!
You no longer fear death or for that matter life
Cos you know that all matters are safe and alright
While resting in peace you will soon be inspired
To go out in the world with some new-found desires
Desires that spring from your heart and your soul
And wherever they take you, you go in there whole
For the Ego is now in the passenger seat
Lets down the window and takes in the treats
There's no need to hurry, you're taking it slow
Cos the journey's as rich as the places you'll go
Where you are going, you don't need to know
For the journey's as rich as the places you'll go
The journey's as rich as the places you'll go
~ Scott Kalechstein Grace
Crap Cleared:
A fear of change
Observations:
Never again will I say and accept that "This is my lot in life" and I will aim to complete tasks in a timely manner without fear of what lies ahead.
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