Day 45 - 50 - Procrastination is king: a crappy update

I would love to sit here and tell you about the great progress I'm making with one of my BIGGEST CRAP Clearing jobs set so far on this 100 Day Challenge to Clear the CRAP.


I would love to tell you that I have cleared that HUGE job described on Day 44.


I would be so gratified if I did not spend the last 5 days finding every single job under the sun to do OTHER than THE most important task at hand.


I would love it if there were no Easter Bonnets to make, School Cross Country races to attend, Taxi Services to provide to Gymnastics, Tennis, & Soccer, School Banking Implementation tasks to complete, Housework and Yard Duty to Attend to.


I would love it if I was not addicted to Facebook... well not really... I love being addicted to Facebook.


BUT these things have taken over.


I now have only two days left before my appointment with the Accountant.


Now I HAVE TO get it finished.

 

My life

will soon

be

taxation

obligation

free

I

will

soon

be

free

Day 44 - I did it! I finally did it!

I am too embarrassed to tell you exactly how behind I am in sorting out my financial affairs. Let’s just say that I have quite a number of BAS statements to complete.

I have been putting off this very important job for way too long now. I knew I’d get to it during this Clear the Crap Challenge. And today’s the day - I made an appointment with the accountant. Woo Hooooo. I never imagined that I would be dancing around the house after a simple call to the ‘tax man’.

I haven’t done any of the required paperwork yet, but already I feel 100% better about it. When this is done, it will definitely be time to PARTY!!!

But for now...... I go into hibernation mode. I REALLY have to buckle down over the next few days to get this crappy paperwork sorted.

Taxation Crap to sort out... with the help of GG the Cat

Crap Cleared: Taxation paperwork. Well, I’ve made a start - this will take me a while to complete!

Day 44 observations:

• I’m ready to tackle the big crap-clearing job that I’ve been avoiding.

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Day 43 - Sometimes grown-ups need reward charts as well

It’s time to start working on clearing the crap

from inside my body.

I’m talkin’ toxins!!

It's making me feel sluggish

and causing pimples!

　

Now, I’m not ready for a full-on detox. I’m going to have to slowly ween myself off the late night chip munching, preservative filled goodies and daily chocolate fixes. But I’m prepared to make a start toward a quest for healthier eating habits.

And I’ll start with drinking more water.

I’ve made this resolution before. "I really need to drink more water" We’ve all said it. But have you really meant it and followed through?

So, in an attempt to keep track of how I’m going, and to keep myself on track, I wrote up a chart and stuck it on the wall. Simply 7 days with 5 columns. I want to drink 5 glasses of water every day for the next week. When ever I drink a glass, I give myself a tick.

Yep... the same way I get the kids to do what they need to do. It’s going well so far - only just after 10am and I have three ticks.

Crap Cleared: Toxins from my body... Well, I’ve made a start anyway.

Day 37 observations:

• Sometimes it’s just the little helpful tips and strategies that can be so beneficial to get us where we need to go.

_______________________________________________________________

Day 36 - 42 Thirty One Emotions: A week in review

 Seven days of ups and downs. I’ve let a bit of time go by without physically throwing out any crap, but it has been one AMAZING week and this is what I felt:

　

Excited

When I started the week with mega-enthusiasm. I achieved a lot in the day. I was on track and looking forward to a productive week ahead. Monday: My day to get things done.

　

Relieved

When I finally took myself off to the physio to get some treatment for my right forearm which has been paining me for over 8 weeks.

　

Joyous

When I watched my daughter open her early birthday presents that were delivered my mail.

　

Irritated

When removing the extreme packaging that encases children’s toys nowadays. It can take over half an hour to extract a Puppy-in-a-Pocket Hospital from the cardboard, plastic and tape that surrounds it.

　

Angry

When my son’s father arrived late to watch his tennis practice. He had chosen not to see his kids very often and now only has supervised visitation, so when I invite him to an event to be with his children, you would think he could arrive on time to make the most of it!

　

Disappointed

When my daughter’s father did not want to go for a walk with her to the toilet block and back or go out to play bounce and catch the tennis ball. Rather, he just sat in his car for the whole duration of the tennis lesson.

　

Disturbed

When I did not conduct a strong enough protection technique to stop my ex-husband from draining all my energy and rendering me sad, confused and out of sorts for the next 48 hours after our interaction.

　

Delighted

When I finally caught up with an old friend for dinner. We had a great time and connected on a different level than ever before when discussing our latest activities involving emotional healing and transforming consciousness.

　

Technical

When I conquered more HTML code and managed to put a contact form on my website. Woo hooo!!

　

Playful

When enabling a magical journey in the Bush Fairy Garden for 10 little fairies at the Lyell Deer Farm. It was my daughter’s 5^th Birthday Party.

Intrigued

When finding out about the Campfire Healing & Meditation Circles, Drumming and Drum-Making Sessions held in the  Kupidabin Wilderness.

　

Overwhelmed

When attempting to find the best way to market my business and myself by researching on the web. The plethora of information keeps me reading and learning until the wee hours of the morning.

　

Fatigued

When my head hit the pillow and I turned off the light at 2am in the morning on way too many nights this week.

　

Inspired

When subscribing to Ashley Ambirdge’s 97 in ’11 project. She is from The Middle Finger Project and was the prompt for the format of this post.

　

Appreciative

When my children attended a Keep Safe Program organised by their school which taught all about their private body parts, keeping safe and the importance of telling people your news. My daughter continues to share details of what she remembers - it’s great.

　

Contented

When I had a slight sleep in one morning and Mr 7yo completed every task on his job list and helped Ms 5yo to have her breakfast and get dressed before I emerged from my bedroom. What amazing kids! He got tuck shop that day.

　

Enlightened

When remembering a recent meditation. I had a vision of standing in my special spot and I saw myself as pure light. It was a pivotal moment in my awakening and it provided an understanding of unconditional love.

　

Annoyed

When I attempted to create my first video, standing in this special spot, the place where I feel most connected with the universal energy, and all I got was a photo before the battery ran out. This spot is just an area of my back yard where I conduct a lot of my centering and energetic healing techniques.

　

Astonished
Totally frickin blown away

When I uploaded the photo and it showed me bathed in light. Yes, I am no expert photographer and the sun was simply shining into the camera lens, but this photo holds such significance for me. It’s like a divine confirmation that I am on the right path.

　

Glossy

When the weather turned cool and I was back in jeans, topped off with a cool scarf and a funky jacket thrown over.

Proud

When I heard one of the soccer dads refer to my son as "the enforcer". His game has improved so much. This week her really showed guts, getting in there and going for the ball.

　

Glorious

When my daughter was awarded "Gymnast of the Month". Her confidence and skill has improved so much over the last few weeks. What a treasure! Poor thing is really tired right now as she nears the end of her first term of full time school.

　

Satisfied

When I finally finished the construction of an ag-pipe drainage system in my back yard. This was needed in response to the huge rains received this summer that caused the devastating Brisbane flood in January.

　

Delighted

When I caught up with my best friend for a morning coffee.

　

Over-committed

When I volunteered to be the school banking coordinator.

　

Decisive

When I found out that 100% of people who responded with "No" to my Question: "Are you offended by the word CRAP?". I love the multitude of uses of this generic term and realised that if it was to be offensive to any one, then that is a person who I would not be able to reach out to and help any way. I am practical and down-to-earth. I’ve had it with presenting false positive images to the world. While I am designing a life devoted to inner direction and spiritual growth, I am also realistic. I deal with crap. And I can help others who have crap to deal with. If you don’t like that, then you’re either not yet ready to be open to the universal truth, or I am not the right person to guide you in that direction.

　

Grateful

When I found Jo Dunning on You-Tube.

　

Connected

When I was selected for an interview to become a collaborator on The Difference™ film project. This extraordinary film will touch your heart and soul, whilst generating growth within your mind as to the endless possibilities for your life. The Difference™, due for release in 2012, will be filmed in Australia, internationally and in conjunction with a global team of 6,000 Collaborators.

　

　

　

　

Crap Cleared: Not a lot - but I had a damn exciting and happy week

　
Day 36 observations:

• My kids are my world
• Connections.................

____________________________________________________________

Day 35 - Self-sacrifice to protect my kids

When I started rummaging around in the blue laundry cupboard, looking for children’s birthday party stuff, I had no idea that I’d end up crying for the loss that my children have in their lives. Such is the beauty of Clearing the Crap.

I found the box of party poppers, balloons, streamers and crappy toys to put in kid’s party bags and decided to clear out that blue laundry cupboard. Surprisingly, it was really easy to throw away items that I was not using any more. I’m not sure whether it was the nature of the crap stored in that cupboard, or whether now, after a month of crap clearing, I’ve just become good at it!

 

Initially no thoughts were coming to me while sorting and cleaning. Perhaps I was just too distracted by the craziness going on in the back yard. Periodically I had to moderate the children’s use of the hose and trampoline (not a good combination). So I set them to work cleaning a plastic tarp I still had lying around from constructing a drain... which they promptly turned into one of those plastic-water-slippery-dip-thingies and were having a wow of a time.

Back to clearing crap from my laundry cupboard and I started thinking about next weekend.

I was trying to work out how to manage activities next Saturday. I would like to continue having a stall at our local monthly country market, but the soccer season has now started and that takes up a couple of hours on a Saturday morning.

Due to the early morning start at the market, I could ask if any soccer parents could have my son for a sleep over the night before, and look after him for half the day, save dropping him off at 5am on the way to the market. But I feel like it’s such an imposition on the two families, who I am very close with and rely on at other times to help care for my kids, and I don’t know the other soccer families well enough.

What to do??

I had received an email from my ex-husband saying; "We're probably due for another afternoon of games & movies here. Does next Saturday suit?" I thought:

 

We are NOT "due" for a visit -

there is no regular visitation schedule.

And visits must still be supervised.

Games and movies is NOT my preferred activity

for them for hours and hours on end,

which is what always happens when they are there.

　
　

Then I thought about my dilemma with juggling the market and soccer. They can go to their Dad....

 

How nice would that be?

How easy would that make my life?

I could possibly even HAVE A LIFE,

if they were to spend time with their father.

 

But that would be sacrificing my integrity and the safety of the children.

I’ll just have to give the market a miss.

My business & income earning potential, my leisure activities, MY LIFE will just have to remain on hold. I continue to sacrifice myself in honour of the doubt I still hold over the capacity of the children’s father to care appropriately for them, based on his behavioural history (Now that’s a big one that I will most likely not tackle here).

It rips my heart open every day knowing that my children do not have a dad who is there for them. This is NOT what I wanted for them. This is NOT what I wanted for me. This has shattered every dream for the future that I ever held for my family and myself.

I have struggled with this for over four years and just when I think I have cleared all the emotional crap associated with the pain of this situation, interaction with him can reignite anger, resentment, fear, worry, sadness....

What I do acknowledge, is how quickly I am now able to process these destructive emotions and relieve the pain they cause. I simply follow various strategies that I have in my healing repertoire.

I have finally found the answer to that old cliche: "Things happen for a reason" with regard to the end of my marriage. (See Thank you for leaving me, it led me to discover who I really am.) But I wonder about the reason for this happening to the children.

I have learnt that our souls choose the life path that lies before them, in order to learn or reinforce a certain lesson. I wonder what lesson my children will come away with from this. When they do the work to process and release all the emotions associated with how they are treated by their father, then they will know, and only they can discover that lesson.

If you are

• dealing with separation
• have concerns over the safety of your children
• struggle with managing what you have to get through in your day
• basically, have a lot of CRAP to deal with

Please know that there are ways to get through it. I have strategies to help you find the right answers within yourself, as you have an inherent knowing of the best way to move forward. I can help you to learn to trust your internal guidance system.

So... Bring out the party poppers and balloons... it’s time to celebrate:

Celebrate

    The sacrifices we make for our children

Celebrate

    The joy of slip-sliding around on a wet plastic mat

Celebrate

    The challenges we face in life and the lessons we learn from it

Celebrate

    Knowing we have the answers within - be brave enough to go searching for them
Celebrate

    And the amazing revelations you find inside blue laundry cupboards!

Crap Cleared: Pile of crap from the laundry

Day 35 observations:

• It’s getting easier to de-clutter my home, but I feel I may be repeating the identification of emotional issues. If so, I need to do more work on clearing those big issues.
• I will not sacrifice my integrity and the safety of the children