Day 77 - Me and a tiny little spider: Escaping the web of social conditioning.

Through the kitchen window I noticed a spiderweb glistening
in the early morning sunlight and for a moment
I was mesmerised by it's beauty.

I halted the morning rush-hour to marvel at the glory of nature.

How amazingly intricate was this spider and her home for the day.
How breathtakingly mind-blowing is every little creature
and every plant that grows on this earth.

How could I, as a human, possibly be superior to this shimmering web
and this tiny little eight-legged beast?
My body is just as intricate and astounding,
but the only thing that makes us different,
is my capacity to think.

When I switch off my mind, Mr Spider and I are totally equal.

I then thought of my father and how he believes humans to be the masters of all other things. (Correct me if I'm wrong, Dad) But not only that, he believes certain humans to be more superior than other humans.

His racist views were openly expressed in our household when I was growing up, and naturally via the force of social conditioning, I adopted his opinions, to a certain extent.

I grew up and learnt to be more accepting of those who looked different from me, or had different customs and beliefs. And in more recent times I have learnt so much about being judgemental and what it reflects about myself. I have changed my views (for the better) over time, but still wonder why my father, to this day, as an immigrant to this country and considering his history, is so bigoted.

This concept of superiority passed on from my father developed the high expectations I always held for myself, and ultimately contributed to how unhappy I was, by never being able to meet those expectations.

Now, as I go about my daily round, I am so aware of the influence that I have on my children. My every action, every word, is creating impressions on them. And while I am conscious of this and parent to the best of my ability, I wonder as to the beliefs I am creating in their minds. What emotional issues am I causing that will bring them grief later in their lives?

I have spent my life to date picking up other people's crap in order to function in this society and now I will spend the rest of my life (or a little while anyway) undoing it all.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~ 

Crap Cleared:  
A few dusty old memories and conditioned beliefs that were cluttering the far reaches of my mind.

I am equal to all things.

Social conditioning is essential in order to function in our society, but it is through examining ourselves and consciously observing our reactions to situations, we do not let it define us.

I am not my mind and can switch it off to be at one with nature.

1 comment:

  1. maybe it is a product of the era in which our parents grew up and developed their own 'social conditioning'. My father is opinionated in his views on other people and prefaces each judgement with "I am not a racist but..." or "some of my best friends are [insert brand here] but..." which to me immediately highlights a judgemental/racist/bigoted viewpoint. The difference between us and them, is that we are more aware of the source and the impact of this conditioning and are therefore in a better place to be able to do something about them. In turn we will raise more socially aware and perceptive children who will, like their mothers, reflect on events and issues around them and make their own judgements based on what they have learned growing up. Growing up is not just that part of our lives spent under our parents' influence, but it is the sum of our experiences and will continue throughout life. All we can hope for our children is that we give them the best start, and the best tools to chose the right path to follow.


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