Day 69 - Terrorism 101: A Lesson on LOVE & Forgiveness


I began this post over two weeks ago. At various times I attempted to complete the writing and publish it...
... but I got stuck!

I easily wrote of my feelings toward the war on terror and love, but I got bogged down when attempting to incorporate the issue of forgiveness.

I was clearing some internal CRAP about my need to forgive my exhusband for his actions, but was unable to process it fully and therefore unable to express myself in writing.

I could not find the words, perhaps because I do not fully understand what forgiveness is.

The delay in completing this post was due to the time needed to examine and process my emotions on this topic and I easily buried the issue and busied myself with work on other projects.

I have had many life changing moves forward in that time including:
  • falling in love with Nia
  • following my intuition and resigning from a volunteer community role
  • completing the "Clear the CRAP Daily Worksheet" and making progress on solidifying the steps involved in this technique
  • making connections with amazing people
  • commencing work on Leilani Boutique a new business venture
  • attending seminars and exploring my relationship with money
  • fine tuning my healing skills and developing a new technique
  • maturing the dialogue and interaction with my son
  • recognising and sharing my purpose and passions in this life

So now I am ready to finalise this post and continue on my 100-day challenge....
but don't you go counting the days!!!

100 days of posting may not necessarily concur with 100 calendar days....


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"What were the 'twin towers' Mummy?" and news reports on the death of Osama bin Laden prompted a lesson on terrorism in our household. Terrorism 101 was my attempt to explain Islamic fundamentalism, the global 'war on terror' and Australia's military involvement in Afghanistan to a 5 and 8 year old.

It was amazing how choked up I got when describing the events of 11 September 2001 to my children. How crystal clear my memory of that morning is.

The television was on as I was getting ready for work. We were living at Camp Hill at the time and soon after the first plane hit, every channel was broadcasting live. I remember racing to my husband who was in the shower, we had been married for 14 days and just returned from Bora Bora. I was shocked and in tears as I described it to him.

I watched the live footage as further planes crashed, buildings fell, some lives were lost and every ones lives were forever changed.

This week I watched as the people who mourned the loss of human life back then were now rejoicing at the loss of human life.

It troubled me.

That man may have been the head of a terrorist organisation and masterminded the whole ordeal, but I did not rejoice when he was killed. I found myself feeling love for this deceased man and marvelled at my inner transformation. Had I come to the point in my awakening where I am able to see the beauty of and have an affinity with all beings?

What troubled me further was that I felt more love for this terrorist, than I do for that man in the shower, who is now my exhusband.


I can see that Osama's upbringing, social conditioning & life circumstances led him to think and behave in a certain way. I acknowledge that, and I am at peace with it. I recognise that my exhusband's upbringing, social conditioning & life circumstances led him to think and behave in a certain way, but I have not yet made my peace with him and how it effects me and the children.

I recently came across the ancient Hawaiian self healing method of reconciliation and forgiveness called Ho'oponopono. Part of the practice of Ho'oponopono includes repetition of the following mantra:

I'm sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you

You are basically to repeat the four phrases over and over until the burden you are dealing with eases.

I did a little research on Ho'oponopono and tried to understand it, but I was left with confusion. This could be alleviated with formal training in this method, however, when considering the actions and subsequent behaviour of my exhusband, I find it highly inappropriate and disturbing for me to be the one to say "I'm sorry" and "please forgive me".

I read that at Dr Hew Len's Ho'oponopono training last year he shared the following thought: 

if you can't see another as God would see them
 - which is perfect -
then the problem isn't with them,
it's with you.

I've been trying to examine MY problem as to why I do not see my exhusband as perfect !!

Later in a Facebook discussion on Ho'oponopono, I learnt from a friend that sometimes we attract that which needs to be opposed and overcome. Sometimes we are the only ones who can stop someone or some nasty energy. When someone is unable to control their own impulsive actions, few people in their circle of impact are trained to handle the challenge of dealing with such things.

From this discussion I was able to see that I was the warrior in this circle who could either help this person with the loss of control to stop, or to protect those who would otherwise be victims to be safe. I have stood in the gap and I am the protector.

After much inner work on the issue of forgiveness, on the day I was finally ready to click "publish" on this post, I read a quote from Kim McMillen's book "When I loved myself enough" and it was just the most perfect conclusion to the emotional processing I had completed.

When I loved myself enough
Forgiving others became irrelevant.

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After 69 days of this challenge and working through this forgiveness Crap, I feel like I have come to a significant point in my 100-day Challenge to Clear the CRAP.

In these 69 days I have been blessed with followers and received encouraging compliments on my writing. I have inspired others to begin their own Crap-Clearing journeys. Some have started their own facebook pages and blogs, others are more privately journalling their progress. Some are sharing their success on my Facebook Wall.

I am now formally documenting the Clear the CRAP Process and packaging it into a unique format to go on the website so that I can continue to inspire and help others.

But until that is ready for launch-day, I will progress on the third and final phase of my challenge: Clearing MORE CRAP and drawing together some global conclusions from the work.

Until next time,
 trust your heart
feel the love
& be happy in the moment


1 comment:

  1. On the morning after I published this post, I woke with the words

    I'm sorry
    Please forgive me
    Thank you
    I love you

    playing over and over in my head.

    Later that day, I met with my exhusband at our son’s tennis lesson. During our conversation I became aware of the mantra, again playing over and over in my head. I stood there, interacting with him and discussing plans for the children, and the whole time I could distinctly hear those four little phrases repeating loudly in my head in the background.

    I was somehow looking at him in a different light; from some different perspective and. my interaction with him became easier. It was definitely a positive step forward.

    That evening and in the days that followed, at random times I find myself happily singing the four phrases in the same melody as the You Tube video I put in the post.

    This is having a great impact on me.


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