Day 74 - Don't Declutter . . . Downsize and create Harmony.

 
Anyone watching would have thought I was just wandering...

aimlessly
        from room to room,
                in and out
                       and back again.
                                Over and over
                                        with no purpose


It would have appeared as though I was in a trance.

And it felt a little like that. Even though I had the intention of reorganising and tidying up this space, I could not create a vision of the end result, and so I could not take any action.

This is the current dishevelled state of my warehouse:

As I have been downsizing this physical part of my business, and concentrating on digital aspects, I would like to reorganise the warehouse and create space to fit the van inside. But there's just not enough room!!

How do I reposition all these things, shelves, stock, tables, equipment and other crap I may never use again, but keep holding onto, just in case it might come in handy one day???

DOWNSIZE . . . there's the word for today.

"Downsizing" is so much more professional than "Decluttering"

.

If you declutter, it implies that you are messy and disorganised. You have too much crap and you don't know what to do with it. You can't think straight and don't know where you are going.

But if you are "downsizing", you have power and intention; structure and capability. You know what you want and have the means to get there. You act with purpose to achieve a goal.

The word I embraced yesterday was HARMONY.

We hear so much about the need to create "balance" in our lives, to structure our activities. Not too much of this, more of that. To me, that seems so cold and somehow authoritarian or stiff.

Instead of "balance", I prefer to create "harmony". When I am in harmony, I flow with the natural rhythm of my life. All aspects of my being are perfectly blended and in tune with one another.

After allowing a little time,

a bit of dreaming

and relaxing a tad,

I have now formed an image of how I want the warehouse to look.

Even if it's just creating a little more order at this stage and the van doesn't quite fit in yet,

I'm happy with the picture I've created in my mind.

Now I'm off to make it a reality.

Crap Cleared: 
Excess from the Warehouse.

Observations:
Don't Declutter... Downsize!!
Forget Balance... Create Harmony.
Without a clear vision, any action is futile.

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Day 73 - Awareness of self and presenting an image to the world

I woke and lay in bed, consciously trying to put a smile on my face so I could start the day in a positive way.

I struggled with that today.

At the moment I have an underlying sense of unease.

This originates from a number of factors:

          I am facing a motivational hurdle with Clear the CRAP

          I have allowed feelings of self-consciousness to return

          I find myself again seeking approval from others

          I feel dissatisfied with my current level of productivity

          I am getting way too caught up in mind issues

As I take the time to document this, I am quietly rejoicing, because I am aware of the simple fact that once I am able to identify and observe these emotions and issues for myself, then that is the moment I can let them go. So long as I do not judge myself in any way for having these thoughts and feelings, I simply need to observe what is going on, allow it, and let it be.



"Market Magnolias" by Jo Behlau 2011  29cm x 41xm pastel on card



Last night I casually asked a friend how his job was going. He was pleased to report that his work is being well received, but added that sometimes he can feel a little resentment or jealousy (not sure of his actual word, but I understood the general feeling of unrest) toward his wife, who works only part-time and has more freedom to pursue personal interests than he believes he can.
He said that he could not afford the luxury of spending his days painting and exploring personal whims.

The old me could have easily found judgement in this and gone down the path of self-criticism, because I am currently indulging myself in my whims and following wherever my heart leads me. I had just shown him my latest drawings.

The old me would have allowed peer and societal pressures to restrict me into conformity.

The new me is not quite settled and confident enough to verbally express this view to my friend, but I am developing that confidence in my new-found freedom.

The present me realises that I can simply listen to my friends and there is absolutely no need to justify my current motivations and activities to anyone.

So, I have started to clear the crap out of my wardrobe!!!

While I have not posted for a while and feel that crap-clearing motivation is low, I actually am still slowly addressing my space and clearing it out.

I have avoided the wardrobe since I began this challenge, as it represents one of my biggest hurdles to overcome:  self expression and the image I present to the world.

We present a view of ourselves outwardly via the threads we put on our back.

If we hold on to the clothes of the past, the way we used to be, we are unconsciously not yet prepared to step forward into a new phase of self-expression - to begin to present ourselves in a new light.

Until you shed the old you can never embrace the new.

It's taking me a little while to sort through this wardrobe - for days I have been stepping around shelves and sorted piles of crap all over the floor...

But I'm getting there...

Before...

Crap Cleared:
Clothes I no longer wear or need

Observations: 
Observation without judgement! 
Non-attachment to outcomes!
Shed the old to embrace the new!
There is no need to justify my current motivations and activities to anyone.

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Day 72 - Let your inner child out to dance and solve your dilemmas

I was thrown a curve ball last week!!

Just when I was starting to feel really good about consolidating the vision for the new direction I want to take my life via a new entreprenerial concept, I received a proposal from a previous business partner to collaborate again.

It stopped me in my tracks.
 

Threw me into a whirlwind of confusion.

 

Enough water had passed under the bridge for me to consider the idea of reigniting a business that I had put to rest about a year ago. I still had the infrastrcture to support it and would only need to find the human resources to manage it. But it became a question of whether I wanted to invest the time, energy and lifestyle change to start it all again. Not to mention reassociating with a person who I knew was unethical and had burnt me before due to her poor communication and business strategies.
 

I was attracted to the offer only because of the financial gain. However I am not really motivated by money. Yes, I desire an abundance of wealth, and it is required to support the achievement of my personal mission, but getting involved in this business activity again would not be in alignment with my highest value. I was toying with the idea of taking it on short term just to build up some capital.

For more than three days my head was in a spin considering all possibilities.
I was irritated, annoyed, confused, unsure, angry and scared about what my future holds.

Was it the negative vibration of the business, the product or the supplier that was effecting me?

Then, at my Nia class, we were instructed to allow our inner child out to dance. I hesitated initially, but it soon turned into such an amazingly joyous experience.

I love how I just honestly dance like no-one's watching at Nia.

As my inner child spun in circles and pranced around the room, and tears of wonder streamed down my face in a yoga hall full of people, the answer to my dilemma came.

How could I not follow my heart.

"Inner Child Dancing" by Jo Behlau 2011  45cm x 45cm acrylic on canvas

The business proposal was presented to me as a test. A test of my core values.

I will no longer submit to the restrictions and expectations of others. I will allow my spirit to soar. I will live my life in freedom, pursue my passion and while I don't know what the future holds, I will trust in my dream.

And on that day, I was inspired to paint.... so I did!

Crap Cleared: Notion that I will not be able to provide financial stability by trusting my heart.

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Day 71 - The final chapter & 30 days of gratitude

When I set myself a 100-day challenge to Clear the CRAP, I had no idea where it would lead me...

I had an internal need to declutter my surroundings in order to clear out old energies, clear my mind and move on to the next stage of my life.

Now, just over 3/4 way through the challenge, I can reflect on my journey so far and identify three distinct stages that I have moved through:

Phase 1

First 21 Days: Establishing the Clear the CRAP Process

Phase 2

Days 22 - 70: Recognising the positive life-changing outcomes of the Clear the CRAP Process and the desire to share this with others

Phase 3

Final 30 Days: Consolidating the Clear the Crap Process and formulating the Clear the CRAP Business Plan

I am extremely excited about what lies ahead and can't wait to share my learnings with the world. So much so that I keep stumbling over my enthusiasm to share my message. I want to do it right; in a way that will have the greatest helpful impact on those in my realm of influence.

No more attempts to put the cart before the horse - just one step at a time and in time, I will be in a position to give more of myself in service to others.

As I embark on Phase 3

of the Clear the CRAP Challenge,

I will take time to give thanks.

In the past I could easily lose sight of all the good things in my life. I would find myself stuck, focusing on the negatives and wishing for more in my life. But I know that I am so blessed to be where I am. Any given moment of my life, is the most absolutely perfect place for me to be.

In good times and bad, I have so many blessings to be thankful for.

Expressing gratitude has a powerful effect on the manifestations and creations in our lives. Our inner and outer worlds become happier and more abundant.

Every day for the next 30 days, the final phase of the Clear the CRAP Challenge, I will add to this blog one thing that I am grateful for that day.

I raise my glass to the joy of life.

Crap Cleared: A belief that I don't have everything I need

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I am grateful for fresh drinking water on tap, bathroom showers and toilets that flush. I am grateful to have electricity which allows lighting and household appliances, particularly a refrigerator, clothes washing machine and dishwasher. I am grateful for good friends and camping retreats. I am grateful for my home, community and all modern conveniences. I am grateful for my own, big, comfortable bed.  ♥ 18 ♥

I am grateful for the inspirational teachers that I am blessed to have cross my path. Madonna and Sophie, all of the healing crew, Yo and Kerryn and all of my friends - old, new, present and online, my family, my children. The lessons you provide and awareness you enable challenge and enlighten me.
Thank you. ♥ 17 ♥

I am grateful that I recognise my need to express myself and I have found the avenue to do so, by indulging in my writing, painting, dancing and other artistic/creative persuits. These activities bring self-actualisation as they provide me the opportunity to find myself, clear any crap that I deal with on a day to day basis and rediscover my truth. ♥ 16 ♥

I am grateful to have the most amazing lifestyle.
I am grateful for my home - with all of its maintenance requirements.
I am grateful for my body - with all of its lumps and bumps.
I am grateful for my children - with all the challenges they bring.
I am grateful for the sun, air, trees, flowers, earth, wind, fire, lollies, chocolate, water, rocks, photographs, lateral thinking ability, friends, helpers, structure, opportunity, motivation, laziness, vehicles, phones, pets, music, dance, colour, prosperity, lack, all of the abundance in my life, and all that is. ♥ 15 ♥

I am grateful for my gorgeous group of supportive friends with whom I can be "me" and share all of those personal issues and they are so open to hearing it and allowing it and are so accepting of me in spite of it all. Thank you. ♥ 14 ♥

I am grateful for magically big snuggly-wuggly hugs with my children, made more squishy-wushy by a gigantic soft fluffy dressing gown. ♥ 13 ♥

I am grateful that Sandhan Australia is back online. lol
We missed you. :)

Today I am grateful for the sun. I am grateful for my car, that safely got the children to school. I am grateful that I was able to buy catfood this morning for our two gorgeous fluffy things. I am grateful that my dad was here yesterday when the treelopers came. I'm grateful that I have the guts to take risks. I am grateful that I am able to trust in my ability to increase my vibration and invite great things into my life. I am grateful for my home, my family and my friends. I am grateful for my freedom. ♥ 12 ♥

I am grateful that I have the opportunity  to express myself creatively.

My new morning family tradition of prayer and expressing our gratitude inspired me to paint

"Zander's Heart of Gratitude" for my son.  ♥ 11 ♥

"Zander's Heart of Gratitude" by Jo Behlau 2011  45cm x 45cm acrylic on canvas

I am grateful that I had no back pain when I woke up this morning.
I will use my dance class, emotional healing and energy work to totally erradicate any weakness from my spine.
Oh... and I had a smile on my face too!!! ♥ 10 ♥

Taste Buds! I'm thankful for taste buds!
I bought the most amazing raspberry jam from my local Brisbane supermarket yesterday. The brand is "Anatoth", made in NZ where you are. I am grateful for raspberries, my favourite food, and I am grateful for Anatoth Raspberry Jam!!!!!

I am grateful for my friend who recently posted about waking up with a smile on her face.... when I woke this morning, that was my first thought! I chose to start my day with a smile on my face. It can only get better from here! ♥ 9 ♥

I am grateful that I allowed myself to have a very lazy Sunday, spending most of the day on the back veranda sharing energy with the trees and wildlife that surrounded me, reading 'The power of NOW' and simply "enjoying myself - in joy in myself".
Thank you Eckhart Tolle. ♥ 8 ♥

My little family has a tradition (which we borrowed from my friend) whereby each night, as we sit at the dining table, we ask each other "What was the best part of your day?". It's a way of sharing something positive with each other and reinforcing that even if you have an ordinary day or a bad day, you can still find something positi...ve.

Today I have commenced a new activity, which I hope will develop into a new tradition. In the morning, when we are having breakfast, or if we eat at different times, then we'll just have to catch a moment during getting ready for the day, when we come together, and we will say a morning prayer and then each of us will share something that we are grateful for.

I've been struggling a little with my 8yo son lately, trying to help him to appreciate all of the good things that he has, and to look after his things, and to tidy up, etc. I'm hoping that this little ritual may help.

I am grateful for the personal skype conversation I just had with my brother. We have connected a little on a new level and it feels comforting. ♥ 7 ♥
  

I am grateful that I have my amazing friend Donna in my life. ♥ 6 ♥
  

    

I am grateful that my Dad arrived safely from Tasmania today.

I am in a really wonderful place right now and have so much I want to do for my business. I will try not to worry about adjusting my normal routine a little while he is here, so I can work with him in the garden and sit out on the veranda and drink cups of tea together.

I will cherish this time. ♥ 5 ♥

I am grateful that I have found a way to quickly process emotional issues as they arise within. I have had many examples this week where I was confronted with challenging issues that would have left me sad, anxious, worried or fearful in the past, but I suprised myself with how quickly I was able to work through and clear it and return to a place of peace and happiness. ♥ 4 ♥

  

I am grateful for the fact that I have learnt to be comfortable in my own skin.
Tonight in a room full of people I had never met before, I was not self-conscious. I was authentic and real and I felt connected when the vibration was right, I interacted. I am comfortable being me. ♥ 3 ♥
     
     

I am grateful for the many events and learnings that have lead me to where I am today: able to be truly happy living life in the moment. ♥ 2 ♥

     
     

Today I am grateful for all the wonderful people I am meeting online. I'm getting to know many gracious, inspiring, powerful, beautiful women and I feel truly blessed. I see great friendships and business relationships forming. ♥ 1 ♥

  

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Day 70 - A letter to my mind

     
    
Dear Mind,


Sometimes you do not serve my best interests.

Sometimes you just churn things over and over.
You spin around in circles.
You repeat yourself.
And you get nowhere.

You analyse too deeply and get in my way.


I want to expose myself.
I want to become vulnerable.
I want to fly.
I am capable of a love so intense and enormous that it makes this planet pale in comparison.


You have been told lies that you now believe.
You have been conditioned by circumstances that arose from fear.
You think you are me, but you are not.
You are simply a processing tool that I became identified with.

You have lead me to feel the need to justify and prove myself,
to believe in illusions,
and be governed by unrealistic expectations.

I am now disassociating from you and your fears.

You no longer control me.
I know the truth.
I am truth.
I am now free.


From,
My Heart

Crap Cleared:  Identification with mind

Observations: 
I have discovered the mind, body spirit separation.
I choose to respond from love, not fear.
I act from heart.

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