As I was working in the kitchen this evening, I went to put a rusty pastry brush back into the drawer. I had a good look at it and decided to throw it out and clear any other crap from the kitchen drawers.
While doing so I thought about the kitchen, the need to renovate, how I always over cater when I have dinner guests and always buy way too much food - a consequence of the attitude of lack discussed previously in Day 3 - Exploring inner motivations and healing.
Sorting through ladles, tongs, plastic wrap...
forks, gadgets and birthday candles...
my mind started to wander. I found myself thinking about the illusion of ownership, identification with things and the need for more in our consumer society. Not just the fact that many of us end up with two or three nut crackers in our kitchen drawers, and how often do we ever buy nuts in the shell! But more along the lines of how people use goods as a means of identity. The type of car they own, or house they live in, or school the kids attend, becomes their measure of a person’s worth.
An old flatmate from Uni posted a great photo yesterday of her family having a day out on the river. In the thread that followed she asked one of her friends what was the length of a yacht they were purchasing.
I observed her interest in the size of the boat and wondered about her ego. We havn't been close for a long time so I am not making comment on her motivations in asking the question, as I don't really know her any more. This was just a prompt for me to think about how many people believe that "things" define a person.
I could have easily found myself jealous of her family and the money they have. In recent times past it would have made me wish that I was not alone and I had a great husband who would take our family on wonderful water-skiing adventures. The "old me" would have surrendered to a downward spiralling, mind-based fury of self-pity and "why me", that could have lasted for days.
But I didn’t go there!
I didn’t get jealous and I found myself simply observing without judgement. It was a beautiful revelation for me to observe her interest in the size and value of "things" and for me to be happy with my own little family and the lifestyle that we have.
Day 20 observations:
- I am happy with my own little family and the lifestyle we have... and I want to shout it from the rooftops...
I am happy with my own little family
and the lifestyle we have